Christmas

We had a really good Christmas this year. We got up about 7.30am and I made ham & eggs for breakfast. Then we opened all the gifts. The boys got so much and were really happy with what they got.

Connor's nanny had taken him to some garage sales and he bought gifts for all of his family. For his brothers he bought them a cup each with a cute picture on them, he painted a picture and got a frame for it for his dad, and for me he bought me two little bottles that were hand-painted. They are so beautiful. I was so touched that he did this and I know his dad was too.

Gary bought me an MP3 player and speakers. I'm really happy about that. Although I would've been just as happy with a Wii hahahahahaha

We had christmas lunch at Gary's sister's place with his side of the family. It was really relaxing and fun. Then we went to my parent's for dinner. It was really hot but the kids had a ball. It was just us, my parents and my y/sister and her family. We left there about 8pm and headed back to Gary's sister where we played games and had fun until about 1.30am. It really was time to go to bed then :D

It was such a big day but such a FUN day.

When do we stop ......

There are so many ways to finish the rest of this sentence. My finisher at the moment is "When do we stop yearning for babies".

I can't have anymore children and right from the time Cameron was born the decision was made, it was safest in the long term to never be able to have more. Then of course last year I had to have the hysterectomy and this year was supposed to have both ovaries removed but the drs could only access one.

So my baby bearing days are definitely over but the yearning for another baby isn't. Hence my question .... why? I wonder if the urge for children will always be with me no matter what age I am. My head has absolute knowledge that my time is done but my heart isn't ready to give up. How strange!

Week 5 Painting

I'm closer now to finishing Painting #2. I have to upload the pic but I'm starting to feel the end is near and am already looking for my next subject hahahahahaha

I'm loving it and don't want to stop :D

Such a busy week

Started last Friday with a trip down to Brisbane. Went and met some friends at the airport and took them to their motel. Saturday was spent all day at Softball - go Roosters - then Sunday came home. Thankfully I was able to get a lift down and back so didn't have to catch buses and trains :D

This week has been so full with one appointment after another and tomorrow I go back down to Brisbane again for a niece's 18th birthday party. This time I'm taking Connor with me and will probably stay the night at my mum's place.

Looking forward to next week being a bit slower.

#1 Painting

Thought I better post my first painting that I did :D

I'm yet to bring it home and hang it but at least I've finally signed it.

After I finish the butterfly painting, I'm told I have to start really learning. HAH!!! Look out for painting #3.

Art

I finally decided this year to start painting. My mum is an artist and for years has been telling me I could do it. I always thought though that because I couldn't draw, I couldn't paint. Well, I've now found that that concept is wrong.

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4This is painting #2

As soon as I pick up a paintbrush I feel totally relaxed. The weeks that I can't go I really miss it, like yesterday. Unfortunately I can't make it next Friday either but I'm hoping I might be able to go Thursday instead.

A poem called "Mummy"

I wrote this many many years ago for a dear friend having her first child.

Mummy

Here I am inside your tummy
Growing every day
Becoming just like you and daddy
With all the best in every way

I just wanted to tell you mummy
That sometimes you may not feel like you
Some days you will feel full of life and joy
Others you may feel down and blue

Sometimes you will feel the magic of life
Sometimes you won't even be able to pretend
Sometimes you might be uncomfortable
But mummy, it's worth it in the end

So mummy I just want to say
For creating me thank you
I can't wait until I see your smiling face
Oh mummy, I love you

When I wrote this, to me it was heartfelt words to give to my friend. She was unwell and struggling a bit with her pregnancy. I hadn't had any children at this stage but when I did become pregnant with my own, I dug this poem out. I finally realised that these weren't just words but were encouragement, peace, desire ...... many things that I needed to hold on to. Above all, to me, it was a promise.

When writing poetry for myself, family or friends I would always pray first for the "right" words to put to paper. I know this poem, simple as it may be, was inspired through God.

I love poetry. So many expressions can be heard when reading, so many emotions and feelings. This is yet another thing I hope to teach my boys. A love of poems.

What I want for my boys

My dream is to teach my boys everything I know about life and how to respect other people. To ensure they have compassion and to know that as one door closes, another opens close by. I want my boys to follow their hearts and dreams and to understand that they can achieve anything as long as they keep trying. I also want them to be more than brothers, I want them to be friends.

I can't think of anything that is more important, aside from having a personal relationship with God, than my dream for them. If we can achieve this then I couldn't ask for more than that.

Monday Craft

Monday was a really good morning and early afternoon. Cameron and I went to do some Christmas crafts with Bonnie and Alia.

Cameron and Alia made hand & foot reindeers. It was fun doing this with them but for me also frustrating because Cameron didn't want me to help him much and I didn't want him to chop his finger reindeer antlers off. Bonnie thankfully came to the rescue and was able to help Cameron. He is very independent of his mummy.

Making an apology

To say I'm sorry can be such a huge thing. It can be groundbreaking, profound or full of anguish. I find it the hardest when I have to say sorry to my kids. Today, I had to do just that. I had to say sorry for how I reacted to something. I can have a flashfire temper over certain things. There isn't much that sets it off but when it does, it rages. So unfortunately, the one in the firing line was one of my boys. The thing that gets me is that everything I said was justified it was just the temper that came with it that wasn't. So in apologising, I had to make certain my boy understood that while I was sorry that I got so angry, what he had done was still very wrong. Now I feel wrung out and lousy.