Christmas

We had a really good Christmas this year. We got up about 7.30am and I made ham & eggs for breakfast. Then we opened all the gifts. The boys got so much and were really happy with what they got.

Connor's nanny had taken him to some garage sales and he bought gifts for all of his family. For his brothers he bought them a cup each with a cute picture on them, he painted a picture and got a frame for it for his dad, and for me he bought me two little bottles that were hand-painted. They are so beautiful. I was so touched that he did this and I know his dad was too.

Gary bought me an MP3 player and speakers. I'm really happy about that. Although I would've been just as happy with a Wii hahahahahaha

We had christmas lunch at Gary's sister's place with his side of the family. It was really relaxing and fun. Then we went to my parent's for dinner. It was really hot but the kids had a ball. It was just us, my parents and my y/sister and her family. We left there about 8pm and headed back to Gary's sister where we played games and had fun until about 1.30am. It really was time to go to bed then :D

It was such a big day but such a FUN day.

When do we stop ......

There are so many ways to finish the rest of this sentence. My finisher at the moment is "When do we stop yearning for babies".

I can't have anymore children and right from the time Cameron was born the decision was made, it was safest in the long term to never be able to have more. Then of course last year I had to have the hysterectomy and this year was supposed to have both ovaries removed but the drs could only access one.

So my baby bearing days are definitely over but the yearning for another baby isn't. Hence my question .... why? I wonder if the urge for children will always be with me no matter what age I am. My head has absolute knowledge that my time is done but my heart isn't ready to give up. How strange!

Week 5 Painting

I'm closer now to finishing Painting #2. I have to upload the pic but I'm starting to feel the end is near and am already looking for my next subject hahahahahaha

I'm loving it and don't want to stop :D

Such a busy week

Started last Friday with a trip down to Brisbane. Went and met some friends at the airport and took them to their motel. Saturday was spent all day at Softball - go Roosters - then Sunday came home. Thankfully I was able to get a lift down and back so didn't have to catch buses and trains :D

This week has been so full with one appointment after another and tomorrow I go back down to Brisbane again for a niece's 18th birthday party. This time I'm taking Connor with me and will probably stay the night at my mum's place.

Looking forward to next week being a bit slower.

#1 Painting

Thought I better post my first painting that I did :D

I'm yet to bring it home and hang it but at least I've finally signed it.

After I finish the butterfly painting, I'm told I have to start really learning. HAH!!! Look out for painting #3.

Art

I finally decided this year to start painting. My mum is an artist and for years has been telling me I could do it. I always thought though that because I couldn't draw, I couldn't paint. Well, I've now found that that concept is wrong.

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4This is painting #2

As soon as I pick up a paintbrush I feel totally relaxed. The weeks that I can't go I really miss it, like yesterday. Unfortunately I can't make it next Friday either but I'm hoping I might be able to go Thursday instead.

A poem called "Mummy"

I wrote this many many years ago for a dear friend having her first child.

Mummy

Here I am inside your tummy
Growing every day
Becoming just like you and daddy
With all the best in every way

I just wanted to tell you mummy
That sometimes you may not feel like you
Some days you will feel full of life and joy
Others you may feel down and blue

Sometimes you will feel the magic of life
Sometimes you won't even be able to pretend
Sometimes you might be uncomfortable
But mummy, it's worth it in the end

So mummy I just want to say
For creating me thank you
I can't wait until I see your smiling face
Oh mummy, I love you

When I wrote this, to me it was heartfelt words to give to my friend. She was unwell and struggling a bit with her pregnancy. I hadn't had any children at this stage but when I did become pregnant with my own, I dug this poem out. I finally realised that these weren't just words but were encouragement, peace, desire ...... many things that I needed to hold on to. Above all, to me, it was a promise.

When writing poetry for myself, family or friends I would always pray first for the "right" words to put to paper. I know this poem, simple as it may be, was inspired through God.

I love poetry. So many expressions can be heard when reading, so many emotions and feelings. This is yet another thing I hope to teach my boys. A love of poems.

What I want for my boys

My dream is to teach my boys everything I know about life and how to respect other people. To ensure they have compassion and to know that as one door closes, another opens close by. I want my boys to follow their hearts and dreams and to understand that they can achieve anything as long as they keep trying. I also want them to be more than brothers, I want them to be friends.

I can't think of anything that is more important, aside from having a personal relationship with God, than my dream for them. If we can achieve this then I couldn't ask for more than that.

Monday Craft

Monday was a really good morning and early afternoon. Cameron and I went to do some Christmas crafts with Bonnie and Alia.

Cameron and Alia made hand & foot reindeers. It was fun doing this with them but for me also frustrating because Cameron didn't want me to help him much and I didn't want him to chop his finger reindeer antlers off. Bonnie thankfully came to the rescue and was able to help Cameron. He is very independent of his mummy.

Making an apology

To say I'm sorry can be such a huge thing. It can be groundbreaking, profound or full of anguish. I find it the hardest when I have to say sorry to my kids. Today, I had to do just that. I had to say sorry for how I reacted to something. I can have a flashfire temper over certain things. There isn't much that sets it off but when it does, it rages. So unfortunately, the one in the firing line was one of my boys. The thing that gets me is that everything I said was justified it was just the temper that came with it that wasn't. So in apologising, I had to make certain my boy understood that while I was sorry that I got so angry, what he had done was still very wrong. Now I feel wrung out and lousy.

My Soul

The soul, is it black or white
Or maybe just a shade of grey
Maybe its a bright canary yellow
That chases shadows away

Does it stay hidden out of view
Or is it really seen through the eye
What secrets lay within its depths
Memories of days gone by

Does it have the weight of a feather
Or is it heavy like a stone
Do shadows overwhelm its wearer
Or is it a brightness that is shown

If the eye is the window of the soul
Where does the door lay
Do I dare to enter this realm
And accept whatever may ......
............. Be!

Written by me 2008

Hump Day

When I was working whenever the week reached hump day (Wednesday) you knew the worst had past and there was only 2 more days to go lol Its funny the way we see things. Today I was walking home from school with Connor and I thought woohoo only 2 more days to go which of course lead my thinking to Hump day hahahahaha

Oh my ......

I think its time for me to hit the sack. I just looked at the clock and can't believe its 2.40am already :D Better go to bed so I can get up in time for church lol

Taking a deep breath

Today has been such an easy day. I love Saturdays cause it means I get to sleep in and basically do what I want to do. Gary is home all day so he gets to look after the boys.

It is so great having the land we do. We can send the boys outside to play without worrying about who is stopping at the fence or is the gate shut etc. I would never be able to settle if we were on a suburban block. Well I might be able to but I doubt the boys would have outside play :D Same reason why we don't have a pool while they are young. I would be paranoid the entire time and never have any peace.

And thinking about peace brings me back to God. For many many years the biggest struggle I have had is finding peace. I've prayed about it, meditated on it, read as many passages in the bible as I could find determined to find peace but really never did find it. I sometimes touched the edge of it but never long enough to grab it. But this year, I have finally achieved it.

In May, I had an operation that went wrong so badly I ended up in intensive care for 5 nights. I was on a respirator for 24hrs after having to be intubated during an emergency surgery the night after the original surgery. I woke up in ICU with this tube down my throat, tubes up my nose and coming out of my chest. I was terrified. I knew that I was close to dying. You know how some things you just "know", well I knew this without a doubt. I tried to pull the tubes out but the nurses were prepared for that. I spent hours writing on a piece of paper "please". Just that one word. The nurses knew what I was asking - for the tube to be removed - but of course it couldn't be cause at that moment, it was helping me breathe. For 4 days I had tormenting dreams and the worse part was smelling horrible smells that everyone kept telling me weren't there. On that 4th day it was just too much and I cried out for God. I just said "please God make it all stop" and it did. As quick as a snap of fingers, the torment stopped and from that moment I knew I was going to survive. At that moment I felt at peace. I knew God has listened and answered. Two nights later I was back on the normal ward and two days after that I was released from hospital much to the medical staff's astonishment. I remember the day before I went home, I had at least a dozen nurses and doctors come into my room to see for themselves because they couldn't believed I was even dressed in normal clothes let alone up and walking, talking and smiling at everyone :D

That peace that God gave me, I still feel today. Some days its a bit bogged down with daily struggles but when I remember to stop, take a deep breath and look, its right there waiting for me. I am so thankful that what I searched for, for so many years, I have finally found it.

Oops need to go, Cam has woken up and is crying.

As I wait for sleep

sitting by the window in my study, listening to the cicadas, I realise just how peaceful midnight can be. No blaring television, no excited children, no cranky just woken up husband (hehehehe). I realise just how tired my body is. Not so my mind. I could go on thinking about anything tonight but my body is having a hard time keeping up with my mind. So I sit and wait for sleep to claim my mind so my body can have rest.

I am so looking forward to art lessons tomorrow. I hope to have a step by step progress report here soon with photos :D

I had a really great day today. We started off by having to go make a layby payment at Maroochydore. Gary & I decided we needed to look for ideas for Connor & Justin for Christmas. The great thing was, normaly Gary will walk around for a 10 minutes and then he's grumpier than a bear and we have to leave, today though we walked through by Target & K-Mart for nearly 2 hrs just looking at things. We did lay-by a scooter and accessories for Cameron so his present is done :D

Then we headed over to Bunnings. I love Bunnings. So much to see and get ideas from :D I bought 4 more paint brushes for class tomorrow.

After that we got some lunch and had a really nice lunch together (with Cameron of course :B) then Gary went to bed (this nightshift is really a drag now after 14 yrs of doing it) and Cam & I just had our together time. Picked Connor up from school and then went and visited with Bonnie, Jono, Alia and Grace for a bit. It is such fun when I get together with Bonnie. We always laugh and its good knowing we can have a deep, thoughtful and intellectual conversation as well. Thank you Bonnie, for giving me back my D&Ms.

I then picked up Justin and the 4 of us went to Kawana so I could have a look around with the boys telling me unawares exactly what they are hoping to get for Christmas hehehehe Now I have some great ideas :p

I want to put my Christmas tree up this weekend so we'll see how that goes.

I should go to bed and read and hope my eyes just close.

And its over

Obama is now President elect. I do pray that God's hand is on the situation and spreads peace throughout the land to stop anxious hearts over Barack Obama being President. I pray that Obama and his family will remember their christian roots and let God lead him in his role of President and not be led by man who is against the words & wisdom of God.

Bleak and Icky

Today's weather totally suits my mood. Its bleak and icky. I've had to cancel two appointments cause I wasn't sure I could be there without throwing up. I keep having dizzy turns and just feel like my head is separated from my body lol

I've been watching the presidential race on Channel 7, good coverage. The polling is actually very close in a lot of states but I think most think Obama will win in the end. I believe the result will be God's will and in His will I have faith.

With the Ick Factor still in effect

I decided to make a quiche for the boys for dinner. Its simple & easy and you don't need to do hardly anything lol

4 eggs
1 1/2 cups milk
1 1/2 cups of cheese
1/2 cup SR flour (can use plain)
2-3 bacon rashers
1 onion (can use onion powder)

Beat eggs, add milk and flour. Mix well. Add bacon and cheese and mix well. Pour into greased pie dish and bake in moderate oven (180 deg) for about 45 minutes.

Yum yum yum :D

The ICK factor

That is what today has been. I've felt "icky" all day long. Not long after the boys went to school I went back to bed cause I felt really "off". I still feel nauseous and can't wait until its bedtime again. So I don't really have much to say :D

I am, not anxiously but maybe intensely, waiting for Tuesday to begin in USA. I am so interested in seeing how the vote pans out today and who will become the next president elect. I know how significant it would be if Barack Obama wins but personally I wouldn't like to see that. Not because of the colour of his skin but because I really don't believe in his party policies. I strongly believe in the sanctity of marriage and that life is conceived at birth and that from conception it is a baby not a glob of something waiting to turn.

This thought has led me to something that has weighed on my heart and mind for such a long time. I have always supported pro-life from the age of awareness where babies came from. I was a staunch pro-life supporter from the tender age of 13 talking to other girls about babies etc. My parents were not involved in any church and I know my decisions didn't run parallel to alot of family, but they were mine!

What really gets me and makes me cry are those people who raise an uproar over animal abortions but turn their head and look the other way when so many babies are discarded every single day. How can they say that the life of an unborn animal is so much more important than the life of the unborn child? Don't get me wrong, I love animals and animal cruelty sickens me but people are supposed to have dominion over animals not the other way round.

For me, the answer is simple, abortion is wrong and causes a lot more mental stress and damage than having the child does. I know that some will say its easy for me to say this without being there, but how does anyone know what path we have already walked? I would never condemn or judge a woman for having an abortion, I find it extrememly hard not to condemn those who guide a woman to that decision without availing her to support of keeping a baby. My heart cries not only for the lost child but for the woman who has had to make this decision and also to the father who is often given no say. Yes, I know, some women have had no say in becoming pregnant, that's true and heartbreaking. But what say has the child been given. There are so many people who cannot have children who would love the chance to give the discarded child everything they can. In a lifetime, what really is 40 wks?

Okay, I really was only going to post the first two lines but my fingers got away from me and felt I just had to type this.



Word to the wise, I love that delete button :D

Beef & Black Bean with Hokkien Noodles

I made this for dinner last night. Oh boy was it yummy! Cameron & Justin complained abit over the vegetables in it but everyone ate it. We even had seconds hahaha

Meet Flame & Spike

Today I got a call to say "Cavies are ready to be picked up". Yay! After waiting for baby guinea pigs to grow old enough they were finally ready. The boys are almost smothering them with love.

Here is Flame

and this is Spike

My dad built the hutch for us and put security screen over the top wire to stop dogs from ripping it out.

So hot!

It is so hot tonight. I don't know if it really is as hot as I'm feeling or just continual hot flushes - darn hormones lol

Its Done!!!!!

Phew! That's all done. Now everything is neatly stacked with their lids and there is so much space left over.

Clean Clean Clean

Have started putting plastics back in but its taking longer than I thought to match lids etc hehehe
Here is the cleaned out version lol

The Herculean Event

Oh my goodness!!! Why did I ever let myself be inspired hahahahaha

I'm only doing one cupboard today. I've pulled everything out and cleaned the cupboard. Am now waiting for it to dry before I put everything back in :D Photos to come

Today has been off to a fine start. Got the boys up & ready for school, then Connor became sick so he has stayed home.

I've swept and mopped the floors, preparing to attack my plasticware cupboard. Wish me luck!

Wow! I can't believe how long its been between posts. I've been inspired to start keeping up with my blog so I hope I do it .

I'm planning to spend tomorrow (Wednesday) cleaning out my plastic containers cupboard. They are badly in need of organisation and, thank you Bonnie, I'm now inspired to do it. I will try to take some before and after photos and post them.

Now I'm off to put the kids to bed and have some ME time!

Today we went to vacuum the boys rooms and 3 mice were in the vacuum cleaner. They'd chewed through the filters and bag. What a mess. Everything was wet so it was probably urine ugh!!!!

I've been in hospital so obviously hubby hasn't vac'd for the last two weeks. Anyway he caught the mice, dumped the vacuum cleaner and then we had to go buy a new one.

I bought a Dyson DC23 (bagless). I've always wanted one and now I've got it.