Love and Respect

Isn't this what we want most from people?

Well, I do! I want love and respect from my children, my family, my friends but mostly from my husband.

And you know what?

He wants it from me.

Yep!

He does!

I was only talking the other day to a person very close to me about how sometimes love is just not enough. Love is great, especially in the beginning of a relationship when passion is so fierce, but when the passion starts to cool and the love slowly changes, is there enough to sustain you?

For me, this is where respect comes in. I need to know that my husband doesn't just love me, but that he cherishes me. That he listens when I speak and understands that sometimes there are pearls in what he has heard. That he chooses to not just make a decision but will rather ask me how I feel about something. That's not taking any authority away from him, rather its making us a unit, a partnership.

But in saying this, I have discovered a great pearl of wisdom too. He needs this as much as me. Even more than my love, he needs my respect. Once given, he is happy.

Boy, how hard was this lesson. I can give my love easily by give my respect?

Huh!

Sure if you earn it.

But I don't think its supposed to be like that between us. Why was it written for wives to respect their husbands if it was supposed to be easy? It hasn't been easy for me. Just as I know it has been hard for him to "express" his love. He does, it just took me a long time to see how he shows it instead of how I want him to show it.

I've always been a very independent woman and I suppose I saw "respect your husband" as another word for "submission". Of course I respect my elders, friends, family etc but it was a battle to give that respect to hubby. But little by little I learned that in doing so not only helped him, it also helped me. I realised that all he needed was the confidence in knowing that I supported him. When he found that confidence I realised I felt cherished.

How?

He would start talking to me about things instead of saying nothing all the time. He tells me his plans for our home, our family, our money, other things that bore me but are important to him and he has started to say "no, you can tell me". This makes me feel important to him and I just bet it makes him feel important to me.

You don't have to agree with me, that's fine! Just wanted to share how I see it.

It would be a very boring world if everyone had the same opinion, don't you think?