Well, what a wild ride the last couple of weeks have been. With the lead up to Christmas flashing by so quickly, Christmas Day was probably the best one I've had in so long.
Boxing Day ended up being the 2nd worst day of my year with my Nana going downhill so fast. I spent the 26th and 27th at her bedside with various family. I didn't want to go home (to my mum's) at night but was convinced to do so. Unfortunately about 1am 28th December, my nana died. It is all too fresh to be typing this without tears. I am so angry at myself for not staying through the night because I told Nan I would be there. I wouldn't let her die alone and that's exactly what ended up happening. I knew within myself that that was the last night she would be with us but the little bit of hope I had allowed people to convince me to go get some sleep. We got the phone call about 1am so then my parents, sister and myself all went back to see Nan. She looked so peaceful and I truly hope that she is.
The next few days were so hard and I don't think I slept more than 2 or 3 hours from the 26th to the 30th December. I put together a photo dvd, music cd and made the funeral flyers. It was a long job but I'm so glad I was able to do it for her.
Nan's funeral was on New Year's Eve in the morning. It was very beautiful. So many people came to farewell my Nan. She was such a beautiful person and so strong hearted. Many times drs told us to say goodbye yet Nan would still pull through. We had over 10 extra years with her and I know we should cherish each day of them but I still wish she was with us. But now her pain is at end.
I didn't see the new year in. I was just so exhausted physically and mentally. I was asleep by 8.30pm and didn't stir until just before dawn.
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